Terminology

Aftercare

Aftercare is a very broad term that can refer to anything that happens after a scene. Like a scene, aftercare can be intense or light and may involve a wide variety of activities. The purpose of aftercare is to discuss the scene, recover from the scene, and possibly discuss future scenes.

Aftercare Area

At public play parties, there is often a separate area set aside for aftercare. This area should not be used for BDSM play or socializing.

BDSM

BDSM is an acronym of three acronyms. B&D (Bondage and Discipline), D&S (Dominance and Submission), SM (Sadism/Masochism). There are literally thousands of activities that could be considered BDSM. See our links page for an in-depth description of BDSM activities.

Blood Play

Some BDSM scenes may accidentally or intentionally result in blood. For example, some people chose to incorporate skin piercing into their play

Bondage

The B in BDSM. Bondage involves someone being tied up for pleasure. Pleasure is gained by both the bottom and the top. Bondage may or may not be a sexual practice.

Bottom

In rope bondage, a bottom is the person who is being tied. In BDSM, the bottom is the person who is on the receiving end of an activity. The words "bottom" and "sub(missive)" are often used interchangeably, although they do not have quite the same meaning. It is entirely possible to be a bottom without being submissive.

Boy Scout

There are many fetishes in the BDSM community. Boy Scouts and similar groups are one fetish specifically related to rope bondage.

Cell Phone Phobia

If your cell phone rings at a public play party, you should not answer it. The reason is that many cell phones have cameras in them and people at public play parties do not want to have their picture taken, even if they are only in the background. Your cell phone may not have a camera in it, but the other players don't know that. At many public play parties, cell phone use is strictly against the rules.

Chest Harness

Body harnesses are large secure ties around the body. A chest harness typically covers the ribs, pectorals, upper back, and shoulders. See our links page for resources on how to tie a chest harness and other body harnesses.

Community

The BDSM community is made up of people who enjoy practicing BDSM. Individual communities may or may not have distinct leaders. Generally, the organizers of public play events and dungeon monitor organizations strongly influence the community as a whole. It is worth noting that even if you have no interest in attending public play events, you are still a member of the community. Developing a good or bad reputation in the community will probably have noticeable results.

Decorative Tying

Rope Bondage that is meant to be visually pleasing. This bondage may or may not be effective at restricting movement.

Dom/Dominant

The person who assumes a dominant role in Dominant/submissive play

Dominant/submissive(D/s)

In a Dominant/submissive scene or relationship, one person gives up control over themselves to the other person. The amount of control that is transferred is a matter for the people involved to negotiate. The person taking control is referred to as the dom(male) or domme(female). The person giving up control is referred to as the sub(male or female). Not everyone is a pure dominant or a pure submissive. Some people are switches

Double Squeeze Method

A method that takes the place of a safeword. The dom squeezes the hand of the sub twice. If everything is OK, the sub gives two squeezes in return.

Dungeon

A dungeon is any space set aside for scene activities. A dungeon may or may not be underground. A dungeon could be in a private home. Public play events often involve a dungeon for play and other non-play areas for dancing or socializing.

Dungeon Equipment

Refers to furniture or structures used in a dungeon for scene activities, often specifically designed for such purpose. Dungeon equipment may include bondage frames, padded tables, spanking benches, or cages.

Dungeon Monitor(DM)

A person who supervises a dungeon at a public play events. DMs monitor play for safety, and provide information to players. DMs are usually trained volunteers with significant experience in BDSM.

EMT Scissors

Emergency Medical Technician scissors - Also known as Paramedic Shears or Safety Shears. They are safer to use for cutting rope than regular scissors or a knife because they have rounded edges instead of points like regular scissors. With regular scissors or a knife, there is a chance that a rope bottom will be accidentally cut or punctured.

Etiquette

BDSM etiquette varies from community to community. The best way to learn what is considered appropriate in your area is to ask people at public play parties or munches.
Common rules of BDSM etiquette include:

• Do not touch anyone or their toys without permission.
• Do not interfere with or distract players who are in a scene.
• Do not socialize in the play area or play in the socializing area.
• Try not to reveal any revulsion you may feel at what you see - for example, bruises or blood play.
• Respect players desire for confidentiality outside of the dungeon.

See Iron-rose.com/IR/docs/etiq.htm for more detailed suggestions on scene etiquette.

Falling

The most common cause of serious injury related to rope bondage. Falling may be the result of:

• leaving a bottom unattended while tied up
• a standing bottom being tied at the ankles, but without their upper body being secured to anything
• a physically exhausted bottom being untied without proper care

Fetish

The eroticization of something inherently non-sexual. Restricting someone with or being restricted by rope bondage for erotic pleasure is a fetish. In the BDSM community, having a fetish is nothing to be ashamed of.

Hard Limits

During negotiation, limits may be discussed. A hard limit is something that must not be done. For example, "_____ is a hard limit for me. I am not willing to do it under any circumstances".

Hemp/Jute

Hemp and Jute ropes are made from soft plant fibers. This type of rope is quite popular among rope bondage enthusiasts. These ropes can have a rough texture when new, but soften with use. See our page on types of rope to see a picture of hemp rope.

Impact Play

Also known as percussion play or corporal punishment. A bottom is repeated struck by a top. During impact play, the top may hit the bottom with their hand, a paddle, a cane, a belt, or a flogger.

In many countries, people cannot legally give consent to be on the receiving end of BDSM play under certain conditions. A person's capacity to consent may be affected by their age, whether or not they have consumed alcohol/drugs, or mental illness. See Informedconsent.co.uk/encyclopervia/Informed_consent for more information.

Jute/Hemp

Jute and Hemp ropes are made from soft plant fibers. This type of rope is quite popular among rope bondage enthusiasts. These ropes can have a rough texture when new, but soften with use. See our page on types of rope to see a picture of hemp rope.

Knots

The way that ropes are fastened and secured. Knots and ties are not the same thing. Ties are more complicated than knots.

Granny Knot	Square Knot	Overhand Knot

Laundry Bag

A mesh bag with a draw string that protects delicate articles of clothing from being damaged while in the washing machine. Rope that is washed in a machine should be put in a laundry bag or a tied pillow case to prevent it from wrapping around the agitator and possibly damaging the machine.

Munch

A meeting of like minded people, usually in a public place such as a restaurant or bar, for discussion and socialization. At a BDSM munch there is no play. Some attendees may choose to wear fetish elements, such as a collar, but most will probably be in everyday wear.

Negotiation

Refers to discussion before a scene begins about what the people involved are going to do. Negotiation may include discussion of safewords, hard limits, soft limits, or aftercare needs. Negotiation might be simple and brief (I'd like to tie your wrists together; OK) or more in-depth. People new to the scene may benefit from filling out a negotiation document.

Negotiation Document

A list of BDSM activities that a person may wish to explore. This document is useful for people who are embarrassed to suggest or ask for something, or for people who don't know what their options are. A five page version of a negotiation document can be found at Affordable-leather.co.uk/resources.htm.

Nerve Compression

The restriction in the space around a nerve that causes limpness and possibly pain as well. Nerve compression can be caused by bondage that is too tight or in the wrong place. To reduce the risk of nerve compression, do not tie rope around the elbows or knees.

Play

A general term for BDSM activities. The word "play" is also often used as a suffix to describe different categories of BDSM activity. For example, wax play - the top drips hot wax on the bottom.

Public Play

Play that takes place at a public BDSM event. Normally at such an event, there will be a designated dungeon area that may or may not be supervised by a Dungeon Monitor. The play area is typically separated from the attendees whom are not playing, but is still visible to them. Therefore, while playing in public, your scene may have spectators.

Restricted Circulation

The most common physical health problem with rope bondage. Blood flow is cut off to the limbs, hands, or feet resulting in numbness or a tingly feeling. Normally the symptoms can be easily treated by adjusting ropes. If limpness or pain occurs, the bottom may be experiencing nerve compression and should be untied immediately.

Rope Bondage

Bondage involving the use to rope to tie and wrap the body as part of BDSM activities. Rope bondage may be done by itself, or in conjunction with other BDSM activities.

Rope Corset

A corset made of rope. Rope corsets can be quite attractive, but can also restrict breathing. While in a corset, a bottom should be careful about exerting themselves or standing for long periods.

Safewords

Code words that are used in the place of words such as "stop", or "no", or "slow down". Safewords may take many forms and serve many purposes. See our page on safewords for more information.

Scene

1. an encounter between two or more people that involves BDSM play
2. another name for the BDSM community

Soft Limits

During negotiation, limits may be discussed. A soft limit is something that a participant will only do under certain circumstances. For example, "______ is something that I could only do with someone that I know very well and trust completely".

Sub/Submissive

The person who assumes a submissive role in Dominant/submissive play.

Sub Drop

Feelings of sadness or anxiety that are sometimes experienced by a bottom after a scene.

Subspace

Describes the state of a submissive's mental state while involved in serious play. Subspace is subjective, but is commonly described as a "floaty" feeling. A safety concern to note is that a submissive may become much less responsive while in subspace. Deep subspace can result in semi-consciousness.

Suspension

A form of bondage in which a bound person is hung from one or more overhead suspension points. Suspension bondage is riskier than other forms of bondage. It is best to learn how to suspend for someone with experience. Using a spotter is suggested to decrease risk.

Switch

Refers to a person who enjoys sometimes playing the top/dom role and sometimes playing the bottom/sub role in BDSM activities. If two switches have a scene together, they may trade roles during the scene.

Tensile Strength

The amount of weight that a new rope can hold under stress. Age, use and knots will significantly lower tensile strengths.

Thumbnail Check

A method of checking circulation by pressing on any fingernail. Sometimes it is not obvious whether or not blood flow is being restricted. After pressing a fingernail, the skin under the nail will turn white for a moment. The whiteness should only last a moment. If it lasts longer, circulation may be compromised and the ropes should be adjusted or untied.

Ties

A combination of knots and wraps that restrict the movement of a rope bottom

Column Tie	Tortoise Shell Tie

Top

In rope bondage, a top is the person who does the tying. In BDSM, the top is the person who is on the giving end of an activity. The words "top" and "dom(inant)" are often used interchangeably, although they do not have quite the same meaning. It is entirely possible to be a top without being dominant.

Tops' Disease

The social faux pas that occurs when a dominant treats others as if they were the dominant's submissive when they clearly are not. This condition sometimes occurs in new inexperienced dominants. Dominants with tops' disease are generally disrespected in BDSM communities.

Topping from the Bottom

Refers to a person who wishes to be dominated but who is unwilling to give up control over the scene. It's OK for one to give suggestions or feedback as to what they would like done to them. However, it is possible to go too far and leave the top with the feeling that they have been bullied or guilted into doing something that they didn't want to do.

Top Drop

Feelings of sadness or anxiety that are sometimes experienced by a top after a scene.

Topspace

Describes a top's possible change in mental state while involved in play. Topspace is subjective. It may include a wide range of emotions. Topspace may include a feelings of power, control, or heightened connection with the bottom. While topspace is generally a positive experience, it can unfortunately contribute to tops' disease.

Toys

Implements that are used during BDSM play. Toys include, but are not limited to, restraints, including rope; sensory modification devices, such as blindfolds; sensation devices, such as clamps; and impact play devices, such as paddles.

Transitioning

During a scene, a participant may enter into an altered frame of mind. Subs in particular may find themselves experiencing subspace. After the scene, the participants may need some time to readjust to a more normal frame of mind.

Vanilla

Describes activities that are not related to BDSM or people that are not interested in BDSM. When used to describe people, the term is not meant to be derogatory.

Visual Safewords

A safeword that is delivered in a non-auditory way. See our page on safewords for more information.

Weight Load

How much the person weights/how much the rope is made to hold.

Weight Bearing Points

Where the rope will be supporting body during suspension.

Wraps

Rope wrapped around part of the body such as the torso or a limb.

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