Aftercare
Aftercare is a very broad term that can refer to anything that happens after a scene. Like a scene, aftercare can be intense or light and may involve a wide variety of activities. The purpose of aftercare is to discuss the scene, recover from the scene, and possibly discuss future scenes.
Why do Aftercare?
- Physical Recovery
- Both the bottom and the top may need a chance to rest and recover after a scene. Also, bottoms often feel chilly after a heavy scene.
- Transitioning
- The top and the bottom may find themselves in an altered frame of mind during and after the scene. Aftercare provides a chance to get back into a more normal mindset before getting on with your day.
- Sub Drop or Top Drop
- A lack of aftercare increases the chance of sub drop or top drop. Dropping levels of endorphins or adrenaline can give one the feeling of "crashing". Aftercare can make this experience easier to get through.
- Attentiveness
- Aftercare provides a chance to show your scene partner(s) that you appreciate what they've done for you and that you take their recovery needs seriously. Without aftercare, a bottom or a top may experience feelings of abandonment.
- Communication
- Saying "Thank you" goes a long way to showing your appreciation. Aftercare is also a time that you may ask questions.
- How do you feel?
- Did you enjoy the scene?
- Was there any part that you didn't like?
- Was there something else that you wanted to do?
Aftercare Activities
- Physical Recovery
- It's standard for the top to give the bottom water after a scene. The top may need to rehydrate as well. If the bottom is cold, the top should try to warm them up with a blanket.
- Transitioning
- Just sitting still and resting may be enough. Try talking about how you feel. Try going to the washroom and splashing water on your face.
- Sub Drop or Top Drop
- Be supportive and listen to each other. Offer validation and reassurance. If there are feelings of sadness or anxiety, take them seriously but don't over-analyze. Compassion is often better than analysis.
- Attentiveness
- If they're comfortable with it, give your scene partner(s) a little physical attention. Hug them, cuddle them, massage them, or just sit close to them. Use your judgement to decide what is appropriate.
- Communication
- The amount of communication necessary depends the intensity of your scene and whether or not you covered any new areas. Light chit chat may be good enough. Usually, aftercare will start and end directly after a scene. However in some cases, communication may continue days later. If you think that something should be discussed, don't keep your feelings to yourself.